Sometimes my life can be really surreal. I'm sitting in the church office at 9.20am on a Monday morning and I get an instant message from a Chinese friend who is a new Christian saying that she has a new boyfriend but he doesn't want to go to church. So suddenly I'm involved in a bit of crisis discipleship over the internet with someone who doesn't speak much English... God has a sense of humour.
I love my job.
Monday, 19 October 2009
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
On being a COW
...that's Community Outreach Worker. We hadn't noticed the unfortunate initials when the job title was agreed. Moooooooooooo!
Let's come back to the Alpha poster business (now that I've calmed down a bit!). Unfortunate, that. Incidentally, not only has someone ruined a poster but they've carved a tick into the metal-and-plastic sandwich board sign we keep outside the church during the day. The national Alpha office in its finite wisdom has come up with a poster campaign which invites vandalism. I mean, if you give people a tick list, they're going to tick it, right? The national website offers you the opportunity to register your tick electronically (currently 40% "yes", 27% "no", 33% "probably." You have to wonder if all the Christians are going on there and voting repeatedly to skew the stats.) On one level, the vandalism shows that people are reading the posters. On another level, it suggests to me an irritation with organised Christianity. People want to register their atheism. I know I did, back when atheism made a lot more sense to me than Christianity.
Please please please, can we have a poster with a cute cartoon next year???
Let's come back to the Alpha poster business (now that I've calmed down a bit!). Unfortunate, that. Incidentally, not only has someone ruined a poster but they've carved a tick into the metal-and-plastic sandwich board sign we keep outside the church during the day. The national Alpha office in its finite wisdom has come up with a poster campaign which invites vandalism. I mean, if you give people a tick list, they're going to tick it, right? The national website offers you the opportunity to register your tick electronically (currently 40% "yes", 27% "no", 33% "probably." You have to wonder if all the Christians are going on there and voting repeatedly to skew the stats.) On one level, the vandalism shows that people are reading the posters. On another level, it suggests to me an irritation with organised Christianity. People want to register their atheism. I know I did, back when atheism made a lot more sense to me than Christianity.
Please please please, can we have a poster with a cute cartoon next year???
Monday, 7 September 2009
Emma loses her sense of humour
Have you seen the latest Alpha course posters?
DOES GOD EXIST?
YES
NO
PROBABLY
...with tick boxes next to each option. Well, this afternoon Phil noticed that someone had ticked one of the boxes on my beautiful Alpha display. You can probably guess which one they ticked.
DOES GOD EXIST?
YES
NO
PROBABLY
...with tick boxes next to each option. Well, this afternoon Phil noticed that someone had ticked one of the boxes on my beautiful Alpha display. You can probably guess which one they ticked.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Caffeine addiction, cake-related injury, life, the universe and everything
Yesterday afternoon was one of those times when I am reminded how much I love what I do. Although I've given up my job in London I am still working two days a week at the chaplaincy at Queen Mary college in Mile End. The cake-related injury was the result of much 'creaming' (using a metal spoon to squish vanilla essence and sugar into butter, for those of you who don't bake). It takes a good ten minutes of strenous creaming to make a decent batch of butter icing, at the end of which a blister had formed on the second finger of my right hand. But oh, the cakes tasted good... It's the university exam period right now and the students appreciate sugary treats when they come into the chaplaincy between exams. Actually, they appreciate them so much that I have to hide batches away in order to ration everyone's sugar intake.
Anyway, yesterday afternoon while I was sitting nursing my blister and some of the students were sitting around trying to summon up the energy to go and do some more revision, we covered a whole host of conversation topics. Caffeine addiction and dehydration (this was uncomfortable for me as I suffer from migraines brought on by dehydration), the doctrine of the trinity, belief in God, evolution (briefly), the Tamil Tigers, the situation in Gaza, the state of Israel, the BNP, Buddhism, veganism, my own brand of vegetarianism (which was derided - but I'm used to that), my testimony (the 30-second version), blind faith, inquiring faith, the Old Testament, the apostle Paul's comments on celibacy, Christian love, finishing up with three of us getting little Gideon New Testaments out (not at my suggestion, incidentally) and reading 1 Corinthians 13.
Blisters aside, being paid to have discussions like this, with young adults who are mostly sceptical about Christianity, is heavenly.
Anyway, yesterday afternoon while I was sitting nursing my blister and some of the students were sitting around trying to summon up the energy to go and do some more revision, we covered a whole host of conversation topics. Caffeine addiction and dehydration (this was uncomfortable for me as I suffer from migraines brought on by dehydration), the doctrine of the trinity, belief in God, evolution (briefly), the Tamil Tigers, the situation in Gaza, the state of Israel, the BNP, Buddhism, veganism, my own brand of vegetarianism (which was derided - but I'm used to that), my testimony (the 30-second version), blind faith, inquiring faith, the Old Testament, the apostle Paul's comments on celibacy, Christian love, finishing up with three of us getting little Gideon New Testaments out (not at my suggestion, incidentally) and reading 1 Corinthians 13.
Blisters aside, being paid to have discussions like this, with young adults who are mostly sceptical about Christianity, is heavenly.
Sunday, 3 May 2009
The wilderness
A few weeks ago I had one of those moments when a Bible passage literally jumps off the page and hits you in the face. I was reading a Grove booklet about evangelism when this passage from Deuteronomy hit me:
Remember the long way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness in order to humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commandments... Therefore keep the commandments of the LORD your God, by walking in his ways and by fearing him. For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land... (Deuteronomy 8:2, 6-7)
One of the interesting things is that I have used the word 'wilderness' several times over the last few months to describe my state of confusion, lack of direction, not knowing which way God wanted me to go. I hadn't connected this word with the Israelites' forty year journey to the promised land, however. It occurs to me that perhaps God is deliberately withholding information from me in order that I learn some tough lessons. A wise friend pointed out to me recently that Jesus never suggested that life as a Christian would be easy - quite the opposite, in fact.
The hardest thing for me is my desire to be productive and purposeful, to find a clear direction for my life, particularly bearing in mind that I turn 30 this summer. Many people have pointed out to me that a woman is often at her most confident and happy in her 30s. However, most people would expect a woman of 30 to be on some kind of career path (either that or busy having babies!). Limbo is not easy. But then I suppose the idea that I am in limbo presupposes that the purpose of life is to be productive. If our purpose in life is to worship God, then we can do that just as well when we are "between jobs"!
Remember the long way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness in order to humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commandments... Therefore keep the commandments of the LORD your God, by walking in his ways and by fearing him. For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land... (Deuteronomy 8:2, 6-7)
One of the interesting things is that I have used the word 'wilderness' several times over the last few months to describe my state of confusion, lack of direction, not knowing which way God wanted me to go. I hadn't connected this word with the Israelites' forty year journey to the promised land, however. It occurs to me that perhaps God is deliberately withholding information from me in order that I learn some tough lessons. A wise friend pointed out to me recently that Jesus never suggested that life as a Christian would be easy - quite the opposite, in fact.
The hardest thing for me is my desire to be productive and purposeful, to find a clear direction for my life, particularly bearing in mind that I turn 30 this summer. Many people have pointed out to me that a woman is often at her most confident and happy in her 30s. However, most people would expect a woman of 30 to be on some kind of career path (either that or busy having babies!). Limbo is not easy. But then I suppose the idea that I am in limbo presupposes that the purpose of life is to be productive. If our purpose in life is to worship God, then we can do that just as well when we are "between jobs"!
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
A bend in the road
The change of blog title and colour scheme mark some big changes for gherkin girl. In the shadow of the aforementioned architectural oddity no longer, I am taking some time out and find myself back in Chelmsford...well, in Maldon actually, staying with friends. I've been finding life tough in London, and needed to recuperate and get back in touch with God. Feeling horribly guilty, but maybe this is just what I needed to happen in order to get me to face up to some truths: namely, that the things I do will never satisfy in themselves, and the more I chase around desperately trying to figure out what God wants me to do with my life the further I stray from the point.
Friday, 20 March 2009
You never let go
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back, I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Matt Redman
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back, I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Matt Redman
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